not alone...

A close friend of mine said something to me the other day that made such perfect sense I had to retreat to the ladies room and notate for future reference.  In discussing relationships: past, present, & future, he stated that the relationships that come to mean the most to you are the ones in which you were made to feel that you were not alone…that connection where you finally feel as if there is someone who will be by your side.  It’s the sense that you have found a partner.  This is a simple explanation I know and one in which you still can’t define why one couple works and another does not.  In theory, every relationship conjures up some sense of not being alone…so again…why do some relationships work and others don’t…and why do some relationships take on more importance when others don’t?

I think that every person can offer different perspectives on this and every person does in fact need to decide for themselves what it is that is imperative in their relationships or partners…naturally!  Each person has different needs…but everyone has the need to not be alone.  Everyone wants to feel that someone is there for them and that this partner is one that they can depend upon, trust, & hopefully love & feel loved in some capacity. 

Often these relationships do come out of platonic friendships.  I have known people who have quite happily survived being alone in the romantic sense and yet totally fulfilled in the love sense.  Love in a pure, honest, & caring way.  I love my family and I love my friends.  I tell them that I love them and I mean it in the same sense that I have told past boyfriends.  I literally have love in my heart for them and even though I don’t want to spend the rest of my life cuddled up in bed with them does not mean that this love is any less meaningful or life-fulfilling.

My point is this…not feeling alone is something that every person on this planet wants.  Everybody wants to feel like they matter to someone else and belong in another person’s life.  If you are fortunate enough to love someone in the romantic sense, feel grateful that you have found someone who does not make you feel alone.  Feel grateful that that someone adds a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life and you in theirs.  However, don’t forget about the countless others on this Earth who today do not feel loved romantically but still need love from another human. 

Maybe it is your sister who lives in another town and is going through a divorce.  Maybe it is your brother who may just be having fun at university but also might be feeling incredibly lonely.  Maybe it is your grandmother who will hold onto her memories of romance from years ago and just looks towards her children and family to make her remaining days beautiful.  And finally…maybe it is the random woman or man or child whom you pass on the street or sit next to on the train who would benefit greatly from a small smile on your face and a sense that you notice they exist. 

In living in other cultures I have come to understand my own so much more.  I smile at people on the street.  They think I am weird or they probably just realize I am American.  When I visited home a few weeks ago I had an encounter with a woman that has stayed with me ever since.  She doesn’t know me and I have no clue who she is but those details aren’t important.  She had obviously just enjoyed an evening with some friends, in fact maybe colleagues.  It is a few days before Christmas and she has an adorable Christmas sweater on.  I can imagine that she shared a wonderful dinner and maybe a glass or two of wine before her and I had our moment.  As I’m walking down the street I see her saying goodbye to her friends and she turns and walks towards me.  Meanwhile, I am minding my own business and making my way to the pub to meet my friends.  And it was the smallest thing that she did that has stayed with me these last few weeks…as she passed me on the street, she smiled and said ‘hello.’  Wow…I was shocked that she had spoken to me and so I immediately blurted out a ‘hi.’ 

I take pride in my nationality and the parts of my culture that I find beautiful.  Saying hello to strangers on the street is one of these things.  So…whether it’s your coworker, your teacher, your family or friends, or just the random person on the street that passes you by…say hello or give a smile…let them know they are not invisible nor are they strangers!  “Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met yet!”      

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